Let’s go back a bit in history, all the way back to when Clinton left office, there was a surplus in our budget which hadn’t happened under either of the previous republican presidents. It took a liberal “tax and spend” democrat from the lowly state of Arkansas to actually put this country on the right path. Sure things weren’t perfect but they were pretty good and getting better.

In 2000 Bush ran against Gore as a “compassionate conservative”. He didn’t turn out to be either of those things. The United States quickly dove into that surplus and then started spending massive amounts of money all while cutting taxes. It’s the opposite of a “tax and spend” liberal. It’s a “borrow and spend” conservative. In fact, the US debt has doubled since Bush took office. (source)

Due to the complete and utter greed of Bush’s friends in business and coworkers in the government, every possible avenue of making money was exploited. Gambles were made with reckless abandon and the people in position to make important decisions about financial matters, made all the wrong decisions. I’ve actually been concerned for quite some time and in fact made a post right here on this blog back at the beginning of 2007 concerning this very topic. I quoted an article talking about the need to solve the problem now, not when the economy goes south. Here’s what I quoted:

The good news is that because the problem only grows more intractable with every passing day, our dithering politicians will have fewer options to chose from when the crisis hits thereby making their jobs that much easier. The bad news is that the more time we spend in denial, the less time remains for us to get busy and do something about it. There is even the danger that if we wait too long, we will face a potentially unfixable problem on the scale of what the Soviet Union experienced – catastrophic economic failure.(source)

So, this situation was easy enough to see years ago by experts and those experts were able to relay that information to the public that cared, including me. So how can the government not have known? The answer is they did and they didn’t care.

I don’t trust this government at all and I do not want to give them any more money. This government has screwed up the lives of so many people already that I’m not willing to let them touch any more of the taxpayers money. If I had a say in the matter, most of the executive branch of government would be impeached and perhaps jailed and members of the do nothing congress we have, would be relieved of duty. This goes for both democrats and republicans. I’m particularly disappointed that Barack Obama supports a bill like the one the Senate passed yesterday and the House will be voting on tomorrow.

Secretary Paulson actually has stated that he will be leaving his post in 4 months. We don’t know who will replace him. This proposed bill gives the person who will replace him an incredible amount of power. If you listen to some people talking about this “crisis” they seem to suggest that if this money isn’t handed over to the Secretary of the Treasury immediately, then the entire global economy will collapse and the world as we know it will be over. That’s a pretty significant level of trust we are putting on somebody who already has one foot out the door and then on the unknown individual who will replace him.

I suggest both presidential campaigns name the person they would choose to appoint to the position and let them start taking questions as to how they would handle things. It just makes sense that we should have this knowledge when our congressmen are voting for this bill and we as voters need to know before cast our ballot for president.

But back to the point, obviously $700,000,000,000 is a lot of money. A lot.
To put it into perspective, the Iraq war has cost this country : ###
(source)

My immediate reaction to the idea of spending $700,000,000,000 is “woah… is buying up bad debt really the best way to spend that much money?” I don’t know the answer to that question but neither does Congress. The fact that the Bush Administration is trying to hammer this legislation through without giving people time to think about it, makes me super suspicious about their motives. Bush has gone on TV a few times now and given ominous sounding warnings about the urgency of this crisis:

(youtube video)

The problem is, we’ve heard this before from the Bush administration… Colin Powell trotting out to the UN with a powerpoint slideshow talking about the urgency and need to invade Iraq and the hastily passed Patriot Act. Two examples of this routine leading us down a path that in hindsight we should not have followed.

They claimed last week that if the bill didn’t pass by tuesday of this week, the world would end. Or at least the economy would be beyond saving. In reality we are still fine. And we will be fine for quite some time. I hope congress will do some small things that will help the economy now, then once a new administration is able to come in, they can work on some plans that will actually significantly help the situation in the right way, with proper deliberation and some actual thought about the future.

I think about what a $700,000,000,000 investment in alternative energy research and development would do for our nation in the long term. I think about ways that money could be spent on a national health care plan and a real investment in education. These are things that will actually help our economy by creating wealth, not just taking good money and sending it after bad money.

I have several more thoughts on the topic, but it is getting late, and I’ve already said plenty.

To end, here is a short video of Eisenhower warning against the dangers of the military/industrial complex, and it’s scary accurate!

(youtube video)

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My thoughts on the “Bailout”

As a photographer, I often get questioned about why I’m taking pictures and often get told to stop taking pictures. Usually it’s not by police, because I know the rules of where and when I can shoot, as do they, so we have no problems, but security guards are a different story. But I know my rights so I don’t get pushed around and honestly sometimes the security guards are in the right so I do abide by their request to stop shooting.

So far, in all of my experience with cops, I have found them to be professional and courteous and have nothing against them doing their jobs. In fact, I would consider being a cop myself if it wasn’t so boring. I feel that my confidence in knowing my rights and the fact that I rarely have anything to hide has led to my good experience with police. However, I do know that not everyone experiences the same situations in dealing with the police, so I encourage people to know their rights. The video below is a good place to start.

click here

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Know your rights during interactions with cops!

I wanted to write something today, because a year ago somebody I was very close to died, but honestly I’ve got nothing to say. I do carry the fury of a thousand hurricanes with me every day but there’s nothing I can do about it now. I just have to keep living my life in the best way that I can and hope that’s good enough.

Here’s some lyrics by one of my favorite bands…

Scar by Jarris (listen on myspace)
i feel this cut so deep in me
a night of tragic memories
all that could have gone
has gone wrong
and all the these thoughts
still eat away
please find another heart to break

i can’t take another dose this strong

so here i go
another nightmare
a wasted sleep
no there’s no resting here

why can’t i just teach myself not to care
tell me why this is so unfair

light the paper watch it burn
a diary of you is gone
ash will find its way and turn to mud

my guts will spill and bleed for you
can this be the last thing i’ll do
holding on to words that scar my heart

i used to hold you so close at night
you told me your dreams
i gave up on mine
so this is my solution for
when you pull away

take me back, cuz i can’t take it
i can’t take it

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one year ago

So I have blue eyes. And according to an article in USA Today, I am related to every other blue eyed person on the planet.

Researchers in Denmark have found that every person with blue eyes descends from just one “founder,” an ancestor whose genes mutated 6,000 to 10,000 years ago. Before then, everyone had brown eyes.

Well this doesn’t come as a surprise. We are all related to one another anyway.

Something I hadn’t considered before was that my need for sunglasses in daylight is actually because I have blue eyes. It came up in conversation the other day. People that know me well, have seen me cringe and hide my face if I walk out the door on a bright day without my sunglasses. People that have been in my apartment know that I keep it dark and only turn on the lights if really needed. “It’s so bright!” is a common phrase that comes from my mouth. Sometimes I wear sunglasses when I’m driving at night because the lights from oncoming traffic bothers me a great deal. If I was stranded on a deserted island and could only have one item of choice, it would be a tough decision between sunglasses and shoes (the shoes thing is a whole other deal).

I’ve noticed that I have premature wrinkles around my eyes and I am willing to bet it’s because I squint too much and I squint too much because “it’s so bright!”

I wonder if this ultra-sensitivity to the light helps me to be a better photographer?

I did a 20 minute google search to find out if my hypothesis was true, but it yielded no scientific studies to back me up; nor did I find any studies to contradict me. However, I did find a tons of anecdotal evidence that suggests people with blue eyes are more sensitive to the light. What do you think? What color are your eyes and do you have light sensitivity issues or know people that do?

Here’s a link to the wikipedia article on Eye Color for further reading.

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Blue Eyes? We are related and sensitive!

so, a question- if you were to die in a week, what would your legacy be and is that a satisfactory legacy?

I guess that is a question people ask themselves when they are wondering what they should do with their lives. For the last year or so my life has been filled with a lot of change and personal drama and it makes me wonder if I should be doing something more with the time I have. Obviously life is a complicated ordeal that all of us must navigate through on our own terms. But I’m now 26 years old and don’t have the things I want. However, it’s definitely not for lack of trying.

I think I would rather be remembered as a loving father and amazing husband than as an amazing photographer or film director. Not that I am any of those things yet. I’d rather be incredibly special to a few people than admired by thousands. This blog isn’t really a place that I can describe the things I’ve been through lately, but there are a few people reading this that know. These recent events have changed my whole view on the world and the reason people do the things they do. I definitely feel that I’ve reached a new level of maturity and personal responsibility and when I compare myself now to the guy I was just one year ago, there’s a pretty big difference, not in personality, but in idealism and world views.

I’m in the middle of another cross country road trip and I’ve already lost three friendships along the way. Each one a very unique situation. I don’t think any of these friendships were going to make it long term anyway. I don’t want to be remembered by them as somebody who was crazy, but I think each of them has that exact thought when they think of me. Which makes me wonder if I really am. When I use the word crazy, I don’t really mean like, lock me up in a hospital and never let me out type of crazy, I mean crazy like the guy in “Into the Wild”, who goes on a giant road trip around the US and eventually dies of starvation in bush country Alaska. His dying wasn’t the intention, just a result of following his dream, a notable endeavor indeed.

I have a dream that I think I’m going to have to give up on. I’m a strong guy and am rarely defeated. However, as much as I would love to keep fighting, I’m just not going to win because of things that are out of my control. It’s incredibly frustrating.

This is one of those posts that started out with a purpose and went downhill from there.

I also think it’s best if no one leaves comments about the stuff I just wrote, it’s much more of a rhetorical statement. If you feel like commenting, you can ask me a question, pretty much anything with one or two exceptions, and I will answer honestly.

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ramblings on legacy and other stuff

So everything in New Mexico is incredibly inept. I had to file some paperwork and after finding out that I couldn’t do it online, I called the office and was put on hold for 39 minutes. Keep in mind this is on a cell phone during daytime hours. So, after 39 minutes, I get a message machine and have to leave a message. What a frustration! It was like that with pretty much everything.

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on hold

But what if I veered off the chosen path and just went exploring? What if I wasn’t worried about my career? What if I wasn’t concerned about retirement yet? What if my goal was just plain happiness? Obviously I wouldn’t be happy in jail or anything like that, so paying existing debt and refraining from breaking the law would be two stipulations in the pursuit of happiness. But seriously, what would I do if my primary objective is to make myself happy? Am I willing take two or three steps backward in my blossoming career to find out? Am I willing to cast aside the expectations of me and take some risks?

What lifestyle is important to me? Do I want to be an adventurous wanderer living from day to day?, a family oriented father?, a successful and ridiculously busy professional Photo/video guy?, A bronzed beach bum with few possessions but no worries?

I don’t know.

I want to experience all of those things. Some of them are, of course, contradictory. So at some point everyone is faced with this question- How are you going to live your life? Avoiding making a choice is probably going to lead to the unhappiest life of all.

Many people complain about their job or city they live in (I complain about both), but both of those things are actually very fixable. Quit your job and move somewhere you think you will like. If you wind up not liking it, move somewhere else or get another job. Obviously it’s much easier said than done, but it’s also easier than you think. I guess what I’m saying is that if your ideal life consists of sipping margaritas on the beach, and right now you live in Nebraska, you are pretty far from your goals. Sure if you work in Nebraska long enough and hard enough you might be able to take a vacation for a few weeks a year to that beach you dream about, and eventually you could retire from your job and maybe move there. You will have a house full of ‘things’ to leave behind. You won’t need a lawnmower on the beach. But if you are working hard in Nebraska, collecting a life’s worth of things and memories, biding your time until you can relax on the beach with a sunset, then I say you are wasting your life. You should just move to the beach and not collect the house full of things and not live in a place you don’t like.

Let me put it another way, why do we work so hard for money? Is it so we can afford a nice car, nice house, and maybe nice trips? What if we didn’t need a car? Would we still work as hard? Why do we need a nice house? To put all of our ‘stuff’ in? What if we didn’t have stuff? What if we lived in a cool place and didn’t need to take a nice trip?

If you think about your priorities in life, money becomes just a means to an end. You must have a good job to make money so you can buy the things that are high on the priority list. Of course, a few people will say becoming the best in their field of work is a priority, but they are just confused or egotistical. Of course, having kids makes this whole rant take on a new meaning, but doesn’t really change the point. The point being, isn’t life about the simple pleasures? If you could skip the hard work and go straight to retirement wouldn’t you do it? If your retirement plans are to drive around the country in an RV and visit famous landmarks, wouldn’t you like to start that trip right now? The answer is yes, we all would.

I’ve actually ranted so long here that I don’t even know what I’m talking about.

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Life is what happens to us.

I always prefer to go shopping with a girl because they are so much better at it. I just kinda wander around in a daze and a few hours later I stumble out of the store with a bunch of groceries. I’m not really sure what happens inside. I’m surprised I’m able to feed myself.

Maybe they should make a Grocery Store for men. We could answer some questions from the computer about what meals we like to eat and then a list of numbers pops out. The aisles would be numbered and the products would be numbered and we just grab the right number. I know guys can handle this process. See the problem is too many choices. If everything had a number then we wouldn’t have to choose anything. We just grab the product with the corresponding number. No confusion. Over time, the computer would learn more about our eating habits and make suggestions as to what we will probably like.

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Grocery store shopping for guys