My thoughts about moving

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well, This is me kinda thinking out loud, so I won’t blame you for skipping it. I’ve been back for a few weeks and had a little bit of time to think about whether or not moving out to California is a good idea for me or not. It’s really not a tough choice. I have to go out there. The tough part comes on how to make it financially viable. I don’t make very much money here in arkansas. I’m not struggling to pay my bills but I can’t really save any money either. So I have to find a way to come up with a few thousand to tuck away to survive for a few months until I get a little bit established. I do have one source of income I could draw from and that is my retirement. I have been putting $400 bucks in every month for the last year and half. Of course there is a fee for withdrawing that money but the way I see it, I’m using it to invest in myself and the payoff could be huge. So that’s one option. The other is to sell my Isuzu Trooper for a couple thousand. I have no problem doing that. But, I’m also thinking it would be wise to not have car payments for awhile. So that means I still have $4000 to pay off on my Eclipse. If I sell my trooper, I would prefer to put that money towards paying off the Eclipse. That also means I will move across the country in a convertible with a backseat the size of phonebook. I would have to ship some stuff and buy some of it again in California.

I’ve been looking at Craigslist at places to live and I think I would need $600 per month for rent for something doable. My car payment is $200. Car insurance will run about $145. I figure at least least $120 month in gasoline. Probably another $300 in food. My credit card and student loans bills are around $350. Plus $55 for cell phone. So i’m up to $1780 per month. This a fairly conservative estimate, I know, but I will have to live cheaply. I think this is doable. I know people get paid more there, so it is perhaps less of a problem than I realize.

Now for the social ramifications. I have a few friends here that I would miss hanging out with. But I can count them on one hand without using my thumb. Most of my friends are already married and/or gone. I talk to them on the phone sometimes but I really don’t have very many close friends that I see on a regular basis. I do have tons of acquaintances that I enjoy hanging out with on occasion, but thats a crappy reason to stay and I know I can make new friends in California. Plus flying is really not that expensive if you plan well.

I would miss my family of course. But I rarely see my brother in the Air Force. My sister just got married and I suspect a family of her own is going to be coming along within a year. That leaves one 16 year old brother and my parents. I’m not worried about them. They only live an hour away, yet I don’t visit that often. We do talk on the cell phone and there is no reason for that to change.

One of my secret reasons for wanting to try out California is my fear of failure. I’ve always kind of been an overacheiver in certain areas and I know people have expectations of me. Lets face it, if you say “I’m living in Los Angeles now”, it has a lot more attached to it than, “I’m still living in Arkansas and still work for the college I went to”. some of you might be quick to point out that it’s the quality of life thats important. Not location. You’re happiness is key. Well, sure. But don’t kid yourself. How happy can you really be if you’re constantly regretting not taking a chance when the moment presented itself.

I honestly feel that I am wasting my time right now. Yes, I work on stuff that I am proud of and yes I do enjoy the stuff I have going on around me. I play video games and I play sports with friends. But, I’m a results oriented person and I’m not getting the results I want right now. I’m in a boat race and everyone has a motor except me. I’m paddling along as hard as I can, but I until I get another boat I can’t compete.

They say, You only live once. Live every day like it’s your last. Take a chance. If you come to a fork in the road take it. Women like men that are not afraid. Shoot for the stars. Only you can decide whats right for you. But it’s funny how these statements are few and far between when somebody says, “i’m thinking of quitting my cushy job and moving across the country by myself to pursue my ambitions of being a producer/editor/director/writer/shooter in the entertainment industry. Suddenly people are talking about, “oh, LA sucks!”, “you’ll be back real fast”, “You’re Crazy!”, “Have you ever been there?”, “Do you know how hard that is?” etc… People are naysayers. Except my Dad. he said “GO! Now’s the time if you have the itch. Try it before you’re tied down.” Knowing I have my parents support is really helpful.

I need a change. A big one and I think setting a date of moving will be good. If I don’t set a date, I might be constantly saying I need more money, while spending my small disposable income on electronics or going out. If I set a date, then I will at least be working towards it with a goal in mind. I don’t know for sure yet, but I’m thinking late March perhaps April. That gives me time to try and save up some money and time to start selling off stuff I don’t need on ebay. Also, I will need to lose about 40 pounds if i’m going to be spending lots of time on the beach.

OK. So those are my thoughts. The decision has not been made yet. But I am strongly leaning towards making the move by April.